Paint On That Mask
by butterflies-and-broken-dreams
Summary: (because really, we're all insecure little nobodies) Not slash, if the pairing listed confuses you : )


She is f.a.t

far, far too FAT,

her thighs jiggle when she walks,

they're probably laughing at her

Pansy the _pig,_

the great, massive whale,

look at her try to _run,_

it's like a dog in heat!

Ha! Ha!

And even

cutting back

on all those fudge-pieces

doesn't help

(or skipping

breakfast

lunch

and

dinner

but that comes later)

She reads all of the books,

and the magazines

the cover of Witch Weekly

has a girl half her size

(one of them French ones,

she thinks bitterly,

so effortlessly pretty)

and look at Ginny Weasley

the ginger bitch

stupid Gryffindor blood traitor

so very skinny,

incredibly, miraculously thin

you can practically see her ribs.

(you'd have to dig around

a while

to find Pansy's)

Draco likes her.

She can tell.

Why wouldn't he?

Her stomach isn't the size of a small elephant.

Harry Potter likes her too,

she notes.

Everyone seems to just _love_

that perfect little bit of _filth_.

With those teeth

whiter than the moon

(a stark contrast to Pansy's

dirty yellow ones)

'Slut!'

It's a hiss

that she doesn't mean to let escape,

(well, she does

sort of)

in the corridor, one day

as Weasley walks past

a slip of the tongue

but it feels good

it feels like every other time

it feels like P.O.W.E.R

* * *

It starts in first year.

Actually, it starts before,

as far back as she can remember

something along the lines of four years old

when she wants a doll

(it's everything she's not,

and even at four she recognises it:

blonde, slim,

tall)

Her mother says it's

'too muggle'

with _ultimate_ disdain

and rules that she can't have it.

Pansy, being Pansy,

kicks up a storm,

throws a massive tantrum,

with floods and floods of tears

in the streets of Diagon Alley.

That's the first time Emily hits her daughter

tells her 'not to cry'

it becomes Pansy's motto

(as she says goodbye to feelings)

tears = bruises

she only does it once more

when she's nine, and she trips

over a garden gnome

(there is so much blood)

fights it as much as possible

but they come,

just like the slaps

afterwards.

'_fat little crybaby_'

it's what she calls Neville Longbottom

innocent, unsuspecting Neville Longbottom

and she watches the hurt on his face

the dampening of his eyes

and she discovers

that she likes it.

* * *

That's what the dementors show

her mother.

Not her father's death

(she wasn't there for that)

but Emily Parkinson,

proud, snarky

just as much of a bitch as her daughter.

That's the first time

that Pansy considers

(_suicide_)

that stormy, stormy night on the the

train.

But Potter -

Potter

Potter

screamed

fainted

(all she did was squeak)

so she teases him

along with Draco

(not that she's trying to impress _him_

or anything)

tries to cover up the fact

that she's a coward

(isn't everyone?)

* * *

Granger.

Slowly becoming pretty.

Stepping into the light,

while

Parkinson

is left in the dark

the shadows

like always.

Viktor Krum

(who Pansy may/possibly/might have

had a

_little_

crush on

for...

ages)

certainly seems to think so

it's disgusting.

'w.h.o.r.e'

and when

he asks her

to the Yule Ball

(not that Pansy would deign to attend

such vulgar events anyway)

it's like...

she's just a bit

(insignificant, really)

dead inside

(and Draco hasn't asked yet)

_'Stunningly pretty?_

_Her?_

_What were they comparing her against?_

_A chipmunk?''_

* * *

Making her hair

look pretty

is like

trying to land a plane

(she knows what they are, she's not

that stupid,

not that ignorant

of muggle technology)

in the dark

without a pilot.

Buns,

ponytails,

plain,

daring.

They all look

like total shit.

It's almost as greasy as Snape's.

'_Hey, Johnson, _

_what's with that hairstyle, anyway? _

_Why would _

_anyone _

_want to look like they've got worms _

_coming out of their head?'_

(not really

her hair is so much nicer

more neat

she can pull off plaits

on Pansy they just

look

childish

not that she would ever tell)

* * *

There's a rumour,**  
**

spreading around

Hogwarts.

That Draco

likes Granger

and for some reason

it spooks her.

So when he makes fun of

the bitch

in Care

of Magical Creatures

she laughs her head off

almost manically

(because of course

he doesn't fancy a mudblood

Now she just needs to get

rid of the blood-traitor)

* * *

Too many people

have died

and the war

is just beginning.

She doesn't know why she does it

(Emily,

F.A.T,

don't cry,

her hair,

her body)

but she can't afford to lose anybody else

so she says it

demands they give Potter up.

And just like they always do

they call her a cow

and turn their backs.

Because they all hate her

so much

that they won't even give her what she so

desperately craves

A.T.T.E.N.T.I.O.N.

* * *

I don't own Harry Potter, (a lot of the quotes in here are things Pansy actually says in the book - if it's in italics she says it)

**A/N**: Because for some reason, I always root for the evil characters - and they're more fun to write too. I don't know, I just thought that there was a reason Pansy was such a bitch, and like all teenage girls (unless you're Bella-Swan-Mary-Sue-Perfect) it comes down to insecurity (at least in my experience).


End file.
